There is so much loss in the life of a drug addict and their families and I know I have referenced to it many times in my blog post and will probably continue because loss is the one of the consistent things that do occur in the world of drug addiction but the out of all the things lost and never regained the most senseless and tragic is the loss of life because of the disease of addiction.
No parent should ever have to bury a child but sometimes it is unstoppable ,diseases occur , car accident happens , even horrifically one could be murdered or commit suicide. All of those loses are heartbreaking but the loss of a life to an overdose is so senseless and so preventable on so many levels , Addictions kills when one chooses not to stop but once the addiction takes the life of the addict for them it is over but for their loved ones their mom and dads the loss is forever and it is a loss that can destroy them just as much as the drugs destroyed the addict and it is SO SENSELESS SO VERY SENSELESS.
Every time I hear about another life taking b/c of this disease it breaks my heart and I wonder will my son decide one more time will be ok. See another young person in our community lost their life this weekend to the battle of addiction someone my son knew someone he used and hung with a beautiful life taken way before they had a chance to live. Words do not help in this situation no matter how comforting they are and how heartfelt they mean to be. I wonder what does one addict truly think when another addict dies from the same thing they do no matter how in invinceable they think they are somewhere in the back of their mind their invincibility must waver some.
The after shock of an earthquake can be almost as devesting and destructive as the actual earthquake itself when an earthquake occurs. Just as the aftermath of a person drug addiction into recovering can be not only for the addict but the loved ones as well. The addict can experience a different range of things that may happen to them they may go through the withdrawals , anger toward oneself as well as those around them and for awhile an emotional roller coaster of feelings and fears as does the loved ones. The addict may never recover and bounce back and forth between short periods of not using but eventually always returning to the demon they are unable to give up control to .Then the ultimate thing the addict may do is lose the battle completely and die. All of these scenerios have an aftershock for the friends and family of the addict but especially the parent of an addict.
My son used for about 4 strait years mainly marijuanna in the beginning but the last year of his addiction he was strung out on some very hard drugs , meth,coke ,pills, heroine you name a drug and he would try it . No parent ever thinks the day their child is put in their arms he will grow up to be a drug addict actually the worse two lies a parent tells them self is my child would never use drugs and I would know if they were using . I told my self those lies so many times b/c I didn’t want to face what was in front of me a 19 year old drug addict I was afraid to be alone with or to leave in my house by himself . I thought it couldn’t get any worse but I was wrong very wrong he overdosed and than the aftershock of the nightmare began .
He was placed in psych unit b/c he saw dead people ,he heard voices that told him to kill and harm his family he had no idea who he was where he was or who I was his body survived the overdose for the most part but his mind was lost in darkness after shock was a point 8 on the rictor scale at this point. Everyone told me at least he was a live no he wasn’t alive yes he had a heart beat yes he walked ,and ate but other than that my son was gone he was as dead as if the overdose had took his life BUT I could not bury him I had to grieve a living person which is a nightmare within itself more aftershock . No one understood but as with every night comes daylight and with every earthquake and aftershock comes regrowth and new development. The son I watched grow from a little boy into a man with addiction is dead forever and I miss him sometimes very much b/c my new son is different person in lot ways not all good but not all bad he just different he in not my —- . The aftershock is still there almost two years later we rebuild a little each day sometimes we have to bulldoze and start from scratch but we recover