What if two very little words with so much meaning and impact. What if he never had become a drug addict what would his life be like now instead of the way it is. What if he used and it scared him so he never used again or hung out with people that did would he be an advocate against drug use would he have disconnected from those people and found real friends to enjoy his teen age years with instead of not really having any friends at all. What if I as the parent had seen the signs sooner would I have chosen a different way of doing things than the way I did. What if I had used tough love that I was told needed to be done would my nightmare have ended sooner .
Those two little words are very haunting they scream at you in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep .When your having a bad day because the child you love is struggling in recovery with their addiction the WHAT IF is there always starring at you . The what ifs paint a very pretty picture of the way things could of been that it make you hate your situation even more so than you already do . Sometimes there is no escape from your own thoughts because your what if places blame not on the drug addict or the dealers but on you the loved one the parent
What do you do when the what ifs haunt you? Somedays I give in and imagine the coulda woulda shoulda if I had done them and what may have been a totally different life for all of my family but ecspecially for me and my oldest son.Then on other days I think of the journey and possiblities that are going to take place and that are happening. Through this nightmare lives can be touched and changed through our story of tragedy and destruction of a new creation and unconditional love being nutured and cared for . The what if for now is a story of what could of been because of the drug addiction BUT one day the what if will become a because of and the story will be phenominal